When I went from coding software to leading teams in the Army, I thought leadership meant doing all the things—fixing every bug, answering every question, driving every win.
Picture me, a new manager, scrambling around like a caffeinated squirrel, trying to be the hero. Ridiculous, right? What was I thinking?
[Spoiler Alert: I crashed hard and it was not pretty. But that’s a story for later. Lol!]
Then, I stumbled on a game-changer: listening. Really truly listening.
I started asking my team, “What can I do to help you be successful?” and this time—y’all— I really heard them.
One coder needed clearer specs about what he should be doing; another wanted training.
I stopped playing Superwoman and started clearing their paths.
That’s when the magic happened! Our projects soared, the team’s morale clicked, and I felt like Dolly Parton with a plan.
Introverted tech managers, this one is for you and it’s huge!
You don’t need to be loud or have all the answers. Your superpower is listening—quietly, intentionally.
Ask this one question in your next 1:1. “What can I do to help you be successful?”
Write down what they say, and then Act on It!
That might mean killing a pointless meeting. (Please, for the love of techies everywhere, kill the pointless meetings)!
They may ask you to snag them a new tool. (Because Helllooooo! Techies need all the latest tools)!
Find out what they need and do your best to get it done.
You’ll build trust, spark results, and find confidence you didn’t know you had.
Listen… I learned this during my 27 years on the Army tech side.
Leadership isn’t about doing it all—it’s about helping your team do their all.
So, channel your inner Mel Robbins, take a breath, and listen.
What’s one thing your team needs to succeed? Ask them today.
You’ve got this!
Wow Mary! Your energy is spot on. I appreciate this word about listening no matter what field you may be in. As a teacher I have learned to say this to my students a lot. “How can I help you?” “What do you need from me to help you succeed?”.
Such a great reminder!
I am truly amazed by what you are doing in the world- just WOW!
Thank you so much for your kind words, Linda! And thank you also for being a teacher.
That is such a difficult job, and I can tell you have a wonderful heart. Your kids are so lucky to have you for their teacher.
I appreciate you!
This is great advice and something that has been a real game changer for me as well so thank you for reminding us how important listening is to the success of our individual team members and the organization as a whole.
It’s true that too often workers are presumed lazy or inept when they don’t accomplish tasks, but we often forget as managers that at one point we were in their shoes and had to learn the ropes ourselves! Taking a few minutes to say “How can I help you get this done?” or “What do you need to finish this task?” can make all the difference to a worker who may be feeling afraid to ask questions.
Well said! From one introverted leader to another, I AGREE!!! Thanks for the reminder that it’s about the support we provide people they need to be successful!
I love this! Making space for all the voices and all the answers is the true alchemy. This is leadership. Well done.